No, We Are Not Either At War.

I wish like hell you'd quit saying that over and over again. Saying it does not make it so.

Honestly, what do you think - some guy is going to come out waving a white flag and say, "I'm the King of All Terrorists, and on behalf of all the terrorists in the world, I surrender to you, President Bush! Please don't unleash any more American might upon us! We are helpless against your superior strength and moral righteousness. You've beaten us fair and square, President Bush, and I promise you, no terrorist will ever interfere with your oil interests again, O mighty Caliph of Carnage! We bow to your awesome American power!"

But you throw away American lives and dollars like they were so much Charmin on this invasion you insist on calling a war. Gleefully calling yourself a 'war president' as you've been dying to do for many years - except of course, you're not doing the dying, are you? Course, you can't very well be a War President without a war, now can you? And you can't have a real keen war without a lot of kids dying, now can you? So why don't you just explain that to Mrs. Sheehan? She's a mom; I'm sure she'll understand. Your mom sure does.

You are a total disaster as a President - may I say the Worst. President. Ever. - and a waste of skin as a human being. "We're at war! We're at war!", you keep bleating, the Kowboy Koward of Krawford, bicycling merrily along, git-tar playing, cake-eating and celebrating while your people die horribly.

No, we're not at war; you are - with the American people.

Drink up, George! Cheers! Mazel Tov! (I would say L'Chaim, but that would be very wrong.)