Monday, December 18, 2006

An Alternative To The Bush "Library"

Apparently, the plans for a Bush Presidential Library are not going so well. One of the schools considered a front-runner for the honor of hosting the rich ($500 million dollar) legacy of the Worst. President. Ever., Southern Methodist University, seems to be ambivalent about accepting that prestigious prize. SMU's Perkins School of Theology sent a letter from its faculty, administrators and staff to the president of the university. According to the letter, they
...regret to see SMU enshrine attitudes and actions widely deemed as ethically egregious: degradation of habeas corpus, outright denial of global warming, flagrant disregard for international treaties, alienation of long-term U.S. allies, environmental predation, shameful disrespect for gay persons and their rights, a pre-emptive war based on false and misleading premises, and a host of other erosions of respect for the global human community and for this good Earth on which our flourishing depends.
And these are Texas Christians!

Of course, many people have pointed out that perhaps a library is not exactly the most fitting tribute to a President who has never darkened the door of one, nor sullied the pristine purity of a book by opening it.

So I think I've come up with the perfect solution.

How about the "George W. Bush Presidential Video Game Arcade and Total Fitness Gym™"?

Now, that would be worth spending $500 million dollars on!

Instead of a boring, stuffy ol' 'liberry' full of dumb ol' books nobody's ever gonna read anyway, the George W. Bush Presidential Video Game Arcade and Total Fitness Gym™ would be filled with awesome action-packed video games like "Pre-Emptive Strike", "Quail Hunters", and "Shock 'n' Awe" where you could shoot-'em-up to your heart's content, and when you've cranked yourself up into a homicidal frenzy, you can work off all that excess energy on one of the thousands of stationary bikes lined up in the Hall of Cycling. Heck - who knows - you might find yourself spinning your wheels right next to the Bicycler-In-Chief, who now boasts a resting heart rate of 7.

Plus, unlike other Presidential libraries, this one will pay for itself! It's guaranteed to be thronged with eager customers, and filled with the the happy sounds of booms, crashes, and screams!

And that's just in the Hall of Cycling.


Yoga Korunta said...

Once again, our boy is trying to make a mockery of higher education. Let us propose a compromise: Upon admitting his reading level is stuck between the comics and the sports page, we blog nice for one week.

Alicia Morgan said...

well, I guess the snark is safe - we all know the KKofK never admits to anything ever, no matter nice? I don't think so!

GreenSmile said...

Wow, SMU just went up a big notch in my esteem.