Saturday, October 08, 2005

I Nominate For SCOTUS - Me!

Yes, that's right. I have decided to begin a search for a qualified Supreme Court candidate. Like Harriet Miers and Dick Cheney before me, after an exhaustive and extensive search, I realized that the perfect candidate has been right in front of my nose all along...me!

In all humility, I would be great. Look as hard as they might, no one will ever find any of my legal decisions to be unacceptable. I have not made any rulings that would be questionable. I, like Harriet, have never been a judge. But I can top her - I've never been a lawyer, either! Heck, I haven't even been to college! Talk about your blank slate! I've got it all over Harriet. And in the anti-intellectual, elitist-education-hating climate of this Administration, that makes me the perfect pick. I am, perhaps, the most qualificationally-challenged candidate in the field.

Plus, I look hot in a black muu-muu.

15 comments:

Poison Pero said...

"Plus, I look hot in a black muu-muu"
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This Righty's gonna need confirmation of this fact before I can vote to confirm ya......:)

Yoga Korunta said...

You look way hot right now!

Alicia said...

Well, P.P., I'm afraid I can't comment on this because the issue may be before me at some later date; you'll just have to trust me on this one!

(See? I already know the routine - how perfect am I?)

Y.K. - don't forget that I'm the Photoshop Queen (just kidding; I don't sweat much for a fat girl!)

Mr. M said...

1) No one looks good in a mumu. Being part Hawaiian, I know this very well.

2) You fail because you do not look like a scarecrow.

3) You fail because you are not a friend of Bush.

4) You fail because you are not rich (re: see #3)

5) You have not made astronomical contributions to the Bush "Please Just Vote For Me" fund (re: see #3 & 4)

6) You fail because you're a "librul"

Sorry, Alicia, seems you're out of the running.

Alicia said...

Darn - and I've already started wearing the black muu-muu around the house just to get in practice!

Mr. M said...

Well, I hear they are comfortable, so at least you have that going for you.

Alicia said...

...which is nice.

Poison Pero said...

If you are unwilling to give up all your sources and show yourself for what you are (in or out of the muu-muu) I will not be able to vote for you.

Because Nan Aron and Ralph Neas said so!! :)
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And you should be very well schooled in answering this 'good Senator's' questions.

Like Chief Justice Roberts, and soon to be Justice Miers, you learned well from Ruthie "I'm All For Lowering the Age of Consent" Ginsberg. --> She was a master, and has taught the 'Art of Dodging' very well.

Alicia said...

See, P.P. - I'm a natural! A shoo-in!

Lola Heatherton said...

Amazing. I thought I would have been a much better choice than Chief Justice Roberts. I mean, I'm even more unqualified than you. Maybe I should request the FEMA post instead, eh?

Alicia said...

Lola - that's a thought...see here to find out how it's done!

wanda said...

When do the hearings start? Can I participate? I have questions. But in the end, you know I'll vote a resounding YES for ya!!

Alicia said...

Wanda - I am glad that I can count on your vote. I am afraid I may have to work a little harder for the conservative vote, it seems. I may have to make some rather private revelations, but, in the interests of serving my President and country, I must do my duty, I suppose...

Gothamimage said...

Alicia- no need to make private revelations, your opponents will use thier imagination. Just get the Pres to say everyone:

"'Murican pee-pol are good pee-pol. Alicia has good heart. Alicia is a good woman. 'Murican pee-pol trust her heart."

Whether or not you can craft a dissent, or write an opinion, is just a bunch of elitist stuff.

Blue Gal said...

uh, Blue Gal had her SCOTUS hearings already. Sans muu muu, and possibly sans panties.

See here.