Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas From Hooterville and Pottersville

At long last, the day has arrived! My talented friend jurassicpork over at Welcome To Pottersville has been working on a very special Christmas post, and I did the Photoshopping for it.

It is awesome, if I may be so bold, and I really enjoyed doing the pix.

Go to Pottersville to visit George Failey and all his friends!

(and many thanks to the love of my life, my husband David, who surprised me with a shiatsu chair massager this morning - a lifesaver after this effort!)

Monday, December 18, 2006

An Alternative To The Bush "Library"

Apparently, the plans for a Bush Presidential Library are not going so well. One of the schools considered a front-runner for the honor of hosting the rich ($500 million dollar) legacy of the Worst. President. Ever., Southern Methodist University, seems to be ambivalent about accepting that prestigious prize. SMU's Perkins School of Theology sent a letter from its faculty, administrators and staff to the president of the university. According to the letter, they
...regret to see SMU enshrine attitudes and actions widely deemed as ethically egregious: degradation of habeas corpus, outright denial of global warming, flagrant disregard for international treaties, alienation of long-term U.S. allies, environmental predation, shameful disrespect for gay persons and their rights, a pre-emptive war based on false and misleading premises, and a host of other erosions of respect for the global human community and for this good Earth on which our flourishing depends.
And these are Texas Christians!

Of course, many people have pointed out that perhaps a library is not exactly the most fitting tribute to a President who has never darkened the door of one, nor sullied the pristine purity of a book by opening it.

So I think I've come up with the perfect solution.

How about the "George W. Bush Presidential Video Game Arcade and Total Fitness Gym™"?

Now, that would be worth spending $500 million dollars on!

Instead of a boring, stuffy ol' 'liberry' full of dumb ol' books nobody's ever gonna read anyway, the George W. Bush Presidential Video Game Arcade and Total Fitness Gym™ would be filled with awesome action-packed video games like "Pre-Emptive Strike", "Quail Hunters", and "Shock 'n' Awe" where you could shoot-'em-up to your heart's content, and when you've cranked yourself up into a homicidal frenzy, you can work off all that excess energy on one of the thousands of stationary bikes lined up in the Hall of Cycling. Heck - who knows - you might find yourself spinning your wheels right next to the Bicycler-In-Chief, who now boasts a resting heart rate of 7.

Plus, unlike other Presidential libraries, this one will pay for itself! It's guaranteed to be thronged with eager customers, and filled with the the happy sounds of booms, crashes, and screams!

And that's just in the Hall of Cycling.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Chuck Norris Facts

I know this is totally off-topic, but this is the funniest site I've seen in a long time. I have gotten a 'kick' (get it?) out of Chuck Norris since the 70s, but there seems to be a resurgence of all things Chuck, and my 15-year-old son turned me on to this great site of Chuck Norris facts.

Here are a few:
  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

  • Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

  • There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

  • Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

  • Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

  • Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

  • There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

  • When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

  • Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
  • Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
  • The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
  • Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
  • Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
  • Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
This is just the tip of the iceberg that is Chuck Norris Facts. Go now.

Yes, I know he's a right-winger. It's still funny.

Had to add this one:

  • Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesn't kill women.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Weblog Awards - Hooterville Is A Finalist!

I have no idea how I managed to make it to the finals (along with nine other blogs - all conservative but me) for a Weblog Award, but since the unlikely event has happened, I'd like to invite anyone so inclined to head on over and vote for me. I'm nominated in the "Best of the Top 1751 - 2500 Blogs" category (as rated by TTLB Ecosystem). Also, Blue Gal is a finalist in the "Best of the Top 3501 - 5000 Blogs", so if you happen to be over that way, send her a vote, too! She is also the lone liberal in a sea of conservatives.

Here's how it works - you are allowed to vote once every 24 hours (in each category) and the voting is open until December 15. That gives us smaller blogs a chance.

I haven't had time to check out all the blogs, but if the ones in my category and Blue Gal's are any indication, they do tend to swing to the right. So here's an opportunity to strike a blow for freedom, and get the liberal voice out there.

It's time to take it to The Man!