Friday, June 09, 2006

Inspiration!

I have the solution!

I've finally figured out what to do about the Coultergeist.

Hook her up with Bill O'Reilly!

Isn't it obvious?

Ann. bless her heart, is desperately lonely and no doubt sexually - uh, under-served, shall we say? She's screaming out for love and attention with her skankulous attire (sorry, Ann, but 45-year-old women, no matter how emaciated, should leave tight little sleeveless minidresses or black vinyl to the younger gals) and her waterfall of peroxided glory which she wears like a thirteen-year-old. Her shrill, screechy, nasally whine will no doubt be a mating call to the ears of a red-blooded he-man like Bill, who is also obviously over-sexed and under-served, if his unwelcome kinky phone-calls to his underling and his pornographic novel are any indication.

Yes, Ann & Bill...a political pornographer and a plain ol' pornographer. What a cute couple they'd make. Bill would make a woman out of Ann for sure. "Oh, Bill, tell me to 'shut up' again!" Perhaps they'd be so happy with each other that they'd leave the rest of us alone!

How 'bout it, y'all?

9 comments:

DivaJood said...

It's a good idea in theory, but there would have to be a rule that they can't, um, reproduce.

Yoga Korunta said...

Aren't Republicans against birth control? Guess we'd have to sneak the pills in her corn flakes; we can't afford an uber Nazi!

Alicia said...

Somehow, I don't think thaty reproduction would be a problem. Her ovaries (assuming she has any) are no doubt dried-up little raisins, and I would hazard a guess that his 'nads are, too.

JM said...

If you mean "hook her up" in the sense of "chaining her to O' Really" in preparation to throw them both off a cliff, them I'm all in favor of that!

GreenSmile said...

I love it. None of us has the twisted vigor to deal either one of these rabid pus hearts the constant abrasive censure they deserve. Locked in the "sanctity" of a heterosexual marriage, and stuck with their own rhetoric, they'd quickly discover what we all know now. It's not about any principles that they are constantly braying but just "ME ME ME". I'd suggest cutlery or guns as wedding presents.

Rainbow Demon said...

I LOVE the idea of Ann & Bill...

Except for the fact that I think my man Henry Rollins (Field Segment includes a Love Letter To Ann) has proposed to her.
LOL...

Peace,
=RD=

Alicia said...

OMG, RD - great minds do think alike. That is fantastic. In fact, I wrote somewhere else about Bill "teaching her the meaning of the word 'respect'", although I can't remember where...can you imagine Henry Rollins and Bill O'Reilly battling it out for Ann's affections?

Rainbow Demon said...

LOL, Ali....

A "Good Old Fashioned Duel"...
Bill & Henry. 10 paces and...

Although I'd never wish her on Henry, I'd love to see what he'd do... his letter is amazingly hilarious.

Sue Woo said...

Yal I am sorry but I think she and Larry the Cable Guy would make a stunning couple.