From the Reality-Based Community...
Confused? Is the language barrier keeping you from understanding Republicans? Mark Kleiman offers this handy guide:
In case you've been having trouble recently in deciphering speeches and news reports:
*alternative energy sources/ n./* New locations to drill for gas and oil.
*bankruptcy/ n./* A means of escaping debt available to corporations but not to poor people.
*"burning bush"/ n./* A biblical allusion to the response of the President of the United States, when asked a question by a journalist who has not been paid to inquire.
*Cheney, Dick/ n./* The greater of two evils.
*class warfare/ n./* Any attempt to raise the minimum wage.
*climate change/ n./* Progress toward the blessed day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans.
*compassionate conservatism/ n./* Poignant concern for the very wealthy
*creation science/ n./* Pseudoscience that claims George W. Bush's resemblance to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental
*DeLay, Tom/ n./* Past tense of De Lie
*extraordinary rendition/ n./* Outsourcing torture
*faith/ n./* The belief that the Beatitudes include "Blessed are the rich" and "Blessed are the warmakers."
*free markets/ n./* Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense
*girly-men/ n./* Males who do neglect opportunities to grope unwilling women
*God/ n./* Senior presidential adviser
1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich.
2. What happens to the national debt when policy is made according to Definition 1.
*healthy forest/ n./* No tree left behind
*honesty/ n./* Lies told in simple declarative sentences, e.g., "Freedom is on the march."
*House of Representatives/ n./* Exclusive club; entry fee $1 million to
$5 million (See Senate)
*laziness/ n./* When the poor are not working
*leisure time/ n./* When the wealthy are not working
*liberal(s)/ n./* Followers of the Antichrist
*No Child Left Behind/ riff/.*
1. There are always jobs in the military
2. The rapture
*ownership society/ n./*
1. A civilization where 1 percent of the population controls 90 percent of the wealth
2. A political system in which all power is in the hands of the owners
*Patriot Act/ n./*
1. Pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent the terrorists from destroying them first
2. The elimination of one of the reasons why they hate us
*pro-life/ adj./* Valuing human life up until birth
*Senate/ n./* Exclusive club; entry fee $10 million to $30 million
*simplify/ v./* To cut the taxes of Republican donors
*staying the course interj./ Slang/.* Continuing to perform the same actions and expecting different results. (See: insanity.)
*stuff happens interj./ Slang./* I don't have to live in Baghdad.
*voter fraud/ n./* A significant minority turnout
1. Person who can be trusted to raise a child but can't be trusted to decide whether or not she wishes to have a child.
2. Person who must have all decisions regarding her reproductive functions made by men with whom she wouldn't want to have sex in the first place